I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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