Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I fill condoms, not promises.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
