i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
