Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
