Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
