You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
