So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
