We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
