But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
