Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
