We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
