yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
