im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
