ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
there is glitter all over my balls
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