Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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