He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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