Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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