it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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