I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
