I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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