the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
