Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
