it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
