I could have mohawked her pubes.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
