You just made me feel so damn special
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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