We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
