I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
