I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
