I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
