I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
