where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
