Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
