So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
