Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
