You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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