Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
