just tell him i said nine months
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize