Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
