i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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