turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
