Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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