my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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