I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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