Quick, to the slutcave!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
