You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
