At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They are going to name an STD after you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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