he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
