Duck Duck Cougar?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
