I faked an abortion last night.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
