a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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