I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
