If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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