____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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