So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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