just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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