Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize