So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
