you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
