I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
