is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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