I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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