I hate all girls vehemently.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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