Yo dont text me then not text me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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