I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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