I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
