Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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