my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
